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This economic stagnation creates domestic flexibility. Because the young have no place to go, their families can't throw them out, which makes families extremely resilient. It also makes dating all but impossible'which is why many Romans mostly make do with sex, often in dark rooms and saunas.
Compare 'Mamma Hotel' to America's urban gay culture'in which announcements of sexual orientation enlarge, for many, the distance that's created when we leave home. In our 20s and 30s, that distance grows larger as gay men join the upwardly mobile class of their peers, carving out individualistic identities based on economic consumption and, often, some kind of therapy before finally beginning the lengthy process of reconciling with our parents.
Which culture is more restrictive?
Which is more free? For all its limits, Italian gay life safeguards something valuable that many in America struggle to find: There's some fairly strong evidence that gay Italians could come out of the closet without jeopardizing their security. More to the point, the majority of Italians say they wouldn't mind if their children were gay.
What is the gay scene like in Rome?
Which forces another question: Do Italian men carry their secrets around with them for no reason? That depends on what you mean by 'reason. They're also being swayed by at least two deeper influences.
- Search form.
- chicago gay speed dating;
They talk about the first one incessantly: The second, I think, is a particular experience of history Romans so take for granted that few could describe it, even to themselves. In any neighborhood in Rome, you are liable to come upon a hole in the ground that's about 2, years deep. One day near the Piazza Navona, I walked out of a convenience store and looked down to ruins from Domitian's reign.
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If you lived here, you would see this kind of thing every day, which would make it just about impossible to trick yourself into believing the best, most productive, most inspiring American myth: Most of the clean breaks and fresh starts that propel the plots of an American's coming-out story are not viable, or even imaginable, in a Roman's life.
If you lived here, you would always know that you will always be what you always were. This man, whom I'll call Carlo, is a commander of the Vatican, the scion of one of the handful of aristocratic Roman families who have kept the traditions of papal protocol for generations. He is gay, but he says that no one in his family or at his workplace knows. Charming, charismatic, and built like one of Michelangelo's Bible-boy fantasies, his poise falters only once, at the beginning of our conversation on a rainy afternoon in a caf' on the Via Veneto, because there must be no confusion on this point: The holy papa do not shop at Prada!
Gay Italians, almost to a man, talk about the pope's red shoes when Benedict XVI comes up in conversation, which is all the time. Everyone except for the commander says that Papa got his shoes at Prada, and when you ask why this matters, they say it proves he's hypocritically materialistic. And gay.
This is one of Rome's biggest surprises: Gay and straight people alike will calmly assert this as a matter of fact, with none of the wishful overconfidence or nervous doubt that dogs West Hollywood gossip about the sex lives of movie stars. Fabio Canino, Italy's most popular gay TV personality a toothy, beefy Graham Norton , opened his show the day Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was chosen pope with a shot of pink smoke emerging from a chimney.
Casually, he adds, 'Everybody knows he is gay, and his boyfriend is his private secretary. When I ask Carlo the commander about these rumors, he says, 'I don't know if the Cardinal Ratzinger was gay. Maybe, maybe no. I know the holy papa is not gay. His eyes flash again; he speaks slowly, as if he is reading from a page, and his words curl like paper in fire: Della parrocchia 'of the parish' is Roman slang for gay, and practically every gay man here has at least a few stories about dating, having sex with, or getting hit on by priests.
Fabio Canino says he received a mysterious invitation a few years ago to lunch at the Vatican with a cardinal. As Canino tells the story, he called the cardinal a hypocrite and asked how, as a gay man, he could serve this homophobic institution. The cardinal looked at him across the lavish table where they sat and said, 'I have everything here.
Some time later, when Canino produced a play in Rome, the production was stuck without a rehearsal space. Canino says he called the cardinal in desperation and was immediately granted the use of a room in the Vatican. He says the cardinal also arranged for the Vatican printing office to produce, for free, the souvenir script that was sold at the play to raise money for a local AIDS foundation. The title of the play? Making Porn. When Vladimir Luxuria began her campaign for parliament, Italians thought it was a stunt''like Cicciolina,'she says, referring to the porn star who served briefly in parliament in the late s.
What is the gay scene like in Rome?
Subsequently Luxuria was chosen for a leadership role in her party, and she has proved such a canny negotiator that she helped secure the country's first antidiscrimination and hate-crimes laws for gays. Lets get the inherent self-loathing past us, the concept is closeted, not "straight" and lets stop with that fantasy. I've always been amazed at the number of Italian cammers on "Cam 4" and other sites.
For such an allegedly closeted culture, it's menfolk seem to love letting it all hang out. They think that their "gay culture" is the only one that exists. And that their definitions are the only ones that apply. I went and had lots of hot sex with a bunch of, well not exactly stable, Italian men. Want to be let in on a secret? Where you can get the hottest fuck down of you life with the most beautiful men? A place you'd never thing? Your ass will need its own vacation though. This is exactly what I'm talking about. If they like having sexual relationships with men they are either homosexual or bisexual but by definition they are not heterosexual.
They can call themselves straight but that completely goes against the meaning of the word. It isn't that complicated of a concept.
The fact that they live in a culture where it is incredibly taboo to be anything other than straight means of course men who have sex with men will still be more apt to label themselves as straight. Well I was in Turkey when I was in college on a six week exchange program. Now don't judge me it was college and well you know the rest.
When in Rome
In that six weeks I slept with 7 Turks. Everyone single one said they were straight. Great bodies and rough in bed. I kind of bowed out when the last one tried to forcibly take me to meet a group of his friends. Fortunately alls well that ends well I guess. You need to be able to get used to some natural body odor and pass on the strong coffee and cigarettes. The one thing I noticed about most of the men over there between the ages of 18 and 35 was there obsession with their bodies. They all really seemed to be into the weight training thing. Not that I was complaining.
A bit of hijacking of the thread but if you're hoping for a sex vacation you might want to change your destination. In these countries nearly every guy is fair game. The overwhelming majority will have sex with men. They are engaging in gay sex but cannot be defined as gay men. R20 please tell more re: I arrive in Istanbul next Saturday. Where can I get this hot fuck down you speak of?
R16's painting - from Bouguereau - never fails to crack me up. You went to a homophobic country and you hooked up with a lot of dudes that are closeted but want an outlet for their same-sex attractions. Good for you, hope you had a great time. Let's quit with these absurd gay porn fantasies that every guy secretly loves the cock, even the straight ones! I agree with R14, better spend your time on that city's archeticture, history and glorious gay past.
So sex is easy but gay relationships hard. In those cultures as long as you are the man anything is possible,as long as you get married and have children. Add to that in Middle East you are not supposed to have sex with women until you are married and you have a plethora of horny men wanting to fuck you.